Am I the only one who gets slightly terrified to write things down on paper? And I don’t just mean a grocery list or tasks I need to accomplish for the day, I mean the big stuff. I’m talking about writing down my goals and dreams. It terrifies me because once they are written in that bold, blue – or black, pick your poison – ink, I can’t take them back. And this isn’t the same thing as typing them either. Typed words can be edited and altered and changed to fit the given situation. Words written in ink will never leave that piece of paper. There is no chance to edit them. There is no option of holding back. Putting a pen to paper is a permanent, go-for-it kind of moment and you either get it out then and there or you forever hold your peace (or guilt, whichever the case may be).
Take a journal for example. I’m pretty sure that every girl I know still has a diary, or at least had one at some point in their lives. We are pretty much engrained from birth to keep one to collect all our thoughts and details of life. Society really embraces this tell-all motive. I remember getting cute little girly diaries as birthday presents as soon as I learned to read and write. But best believe, every parent knows if it exists. Those written words are a key into the locked door of someone’s inner-most thoughts. They can’t be changed, altered or removed once the ink has sunk into that stack of bound pages. Even the act of writing those thoughts is an intimate experience. The way you hold the pen, the way your handwriting messes up when you get lazy about what you’re writing, and for those of us who are left-handed, there is the constant smudge of ink that sits on the outside edge of our left pinky. It has its own sort of romanticism that just can’t be found in a keyboard.
The irony of all this is that even now as, I have grown into a young #TwentySomething, I have this weird obsession with Notebooks; especially the ones with inspirational sayings or quotes on the front. It’s a low-key #obsession. I LOVE collecting them, but I get pretty much chastised when I come home with more of them or creep on new designs at Home Goods because I buy them, and then they sit in my nightstand. I love them, but I am terrified to use them. But that is the whole point of them! I just can’t get over the feeling that this is some kind of symbolism of me not wanting to admit to my dreams, my fears of not accomplishing them, and the atrocity it would be if my most personal thoughts translated onto paper got into the wrong hands.
So here’s the deal. The risk of not putting that pen to your cutely-designed pad of paper is that you can never recreate that word sequence and write it in the same way that you would at that very moment. And like I said before, typing these thoughts is not the same thing as writing them down. Typed text can be changed and doesn’t show the emotion that handwriting communicates. Bottom line, sometimes you just have to put the ink on the paper and let the thoughts out of your head and your heart
the good old-fashioned way.